Contraband
by Paper Coffee Cup
Summary: Professor McGonagall searches Harry, Ron, Neville, Dean and Seamus's dorm for contraband.


**Contraband**

**by The Torn Apart Paper Yoyo**

DISCLAIMER- If you recognise it, I don't own it.

AUTHORS NOTE- a _PlayWizard_ magazine is the wizarding world's equivalent to _Playboy_.

After receiving the eighth complaint about contraband being kept within the sixth year Gryffindor boys dorm, Professor McGonagall decided that it was finally time to investigate.

The first thing she noticed when she entered the dorm was that everything was clean. Too clean. Well for sixteen year old boys anyway. The second thing was that they all seemed to be in the room. Sitting around either reading or playing cards. The third, was that when she entered a scar headed boy that should remain unnamed looked up to her and said, "What's new, pussycat?" with an extremely straight face.

"Excuse me Mr. Potter?" was all she could say.

"Why are you here professor?" asked Neville Longbottom, cutting off any thoughts that could lose house points.

"I am here, Mr. Longbottom, because I have received several members of this house come to me complaining about contraband being held within this room. I am going to now give you the chance to hand it over."

The five boys all looked at each other before looking back to the professor and denying any allegations.

XXX

Two Hours later she finally found what she was looking for. Contraband. A box set of the X-Files D.V.D's in Harry Potter's bedside table, a small airtight bag full of a weed-like substance in Neville Longbottom's pillowcase, a corkscrew necklace scarily resembling the one that Luna Lovegood had been wearing the day before under Seamus Finnigan's bed, an iPod in Dean Thomas' trunk, and a _PlayWizard_ magazine under Ron Weasley's pillow.

Professor McGonagall stood in front of the five boys waiting for their explanations.

"Well...what do you have to say for yourself?" she asked holding up the aforementioned contraband. When none of the boys came forward to explain, she took matters into her own hands. "Why don't we start with you, Mr. Thomas. What are you doing with an iPod within your trunk?"

"well...um...y'see...I...uh..." Professor McGonagall could almost see Dean's mind ticking trying to come up with a good excuse for bringing his iPod to Hogwarts. "...um... I left it in my pocket on September 1st?" His answer was stated more as a question than an answer. Professor McGonagall decided to just let it slide because his excuse could have been just an innocent mistake.

"Okay Mr. Thomas, you can pick this up from my office on the last day of term. Don't let me see it again after this term." She then moved onto her next suspect. "Mr. Finnigan, why don't you tell me why you tell me why Miss Lovegood's necklace was hidden under your bed."

"Well professor, you see Luna and I had wild hot animal sex last night and I guess she must have forgotten it." Seamus replied so confidently that Professor McGonagall's worry that he could actually be telling the truth showed evidently upon her face. "Only joking professor, I was playing with it last night and I guess I forgot to give it back to her. I really should give it to her at dinner."

"I will be checking up on your story Mr. Finnigan, depending on Miss Lovegood's statement, you may or may not be punished" she told the boy sternly. "Mr Weasly, does your mother know that you have this vulgar magazine within your possession?" she asked holding up the _PlayWizard _magazine

"No professor," Ron replied hanging his head in shame.

"I am confiscating this magazine and will be writing home to your mother, you will also be serving detention with Mr. Filch for the next week." She told him disappointment showing clearly on her face. "Mr Longbottom, what is this?" she asked him holding up the bag of weeds.

"That, professor McGonagall is marijuana. My extra credit project for Herbology." He told her confidently and calmly.

"Correct me if I'm wrong Mr. Longbottom, but last time I checked marijuana is an illegal muggle drug." She stated flatly.

The only reply Neville could come up with was an "oh...woops"

"As this is only your first drug offence Mr. Longbottom, you will be reporting to my office everyday for the next two months to write the phrase; _'Growing marijuana is not an extra credit project for Herbology.' _Do. I. Make. My. Self. Clear?" She asked firmly, clearly getting fed up with the boys' behaviour.

"Yes Professor McGonagall." He replied looking down at the floor.

"Mr. Potter, what on earth are you doing with a muggle D.V.D box set in your bedside table?" Professor McGonagall asked getting more annoyed every second.

"Um... I watch it during my spare time." his voice was not as confident as he would have liked.

"What exactly is this, _'X-Files'_?" She asked calming down a little.

"Auror Training Videos?" he replied, his answer more of a question than an answer.

"I'm sorry Mr. Potter, but I don't believe you. You will be reporting to my office alongside Mr. Longbottom for the next two months to write the phrase; '_I must not claim my X-Files tapes are __**"**__Auror Training Videos__**"**_'. Is that clear?"

"Yes, professor." He replied sincerely.

"Okay boys, good day." Professor McGonagall said sternly leaving the room with the contraband she had found.

XXX

AUTHORS NOTE- So what did you think? Press the review button to let me know.


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